Seriously, Reminds me of this Bollywood Movie scene..!
O Bhai! O Baba! Tum nay Kuch Karna hey to karo warna Ghar maro logo ka waqt kyon zaya kartay hoo? Tum aur tumharey behuda good for none going nowhere remarks. Aur phir Tarekh par Tarekh. Not to mention the self praise which never ends when you start talking about your "achievements".
You were low enough to drag supreme court to the matter of "doo bootal sharab"(Atiqa Odha? Seriously?) at war time when you didn't care about people dying. And the fact is, you couldn't or didn't do a thing about that Either!(Bravo!)
There was this show on some TV channel named "Gullu ki aftarian". I think think you should name your mellow dramatic morning tv "Iftikhar ki tarekhain".